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Defy: The Power of No in a World That Demands Yes Kindle Edition

4.8 4.8 out of 5 stars 42 ratings

“Dr. Sunita Sah brilliantly reframes our understanding of defiance—from an act of mere rebellion to a vital tool for personal growth and social change.”—Daniel H. Pink, #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Power of Regret

“A must-read for anyone committed to justice and building an inclusive world.”—LaTosha Brown, organizer, strategist, and co-founder of Black Voters Matter


The definitive book on defiance, a clear-eyed dissection of the forces that silence us, featuring groundbreaking research and legendary stories alongside everyday examples and strategies for how to unleash the power of a “True No.”

Why is it so hard to stand up to authority, even when we know something’s wrong?

Many of us comply much more than we realize. How many times have you wanted to object, disagree, or opt out of something but ended up swallowing your words, shaking your head, and just going along? Analyzing cases ranging from corporate corruption and sexual abuse to everyday acquiescence at work, the doctor’s office, and in our personal lives, award-winning organizational psychologist Dr. Sunita Sah delves deep into why the pressure to comply is a corrosive and often invisible force in our society.

With her own revelatory research, she radically transforms our idea of defiance from a misunderstood negative trait into a crucial, positive force for personal and societal change. Taking us through her five stages of defiance, Dr. Sah equips readers with simple tools to make decisions that align with their values.
Defy is the essential playbook for how to speak up and act when it matters most.

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From the Publisher

Editorial Director Sarah Gelman's Pick
Daniel H Pink calls it a powerful transformative read

For anyone who grew up being told to be good

For those who regret not taking action.

For anyone who has ever swallowed their objections

Adam Grant says it will give you the will and skill to stand up for yourself

Editorial Reviews

Review

“In Defy, Dr. Sunita Sah brilliantly reframes our understanding of defiance—from an act of mere rebellion to a vital tool for personal growth and social change. This book is a powerful, transformative read for anyone who’s ever felt the tension between doing what’s expected and doing what’s right.”—Daniel H. Pink, #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Power of Regret

“A powerful book. If you’ve ever compromised your principles to please others,
Defy will give you the will—and skill—to stand up for yourself.”—Adam Grant, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Think Again

“Dr. Sah is leading the charge on the science of compliance and defiance.
Defy changes our understanding about true consent and true dissent, a real yes and a real no. . . . A must-read for all.”—Dr. Robert B. Cialdini, New York Times bestselling author of Influence

“Dr. Sunita Sah shows us that defiance isn’t just for protests; it’s just as vital at the kitchen table. Even though I’m someone who is dedicated to challenging the system,
Defy showed me how often I let others’ beliefs eclipse my own . . . Defy is a must-read for anyone committed to justice and building an inclusive world.”—LaTosha Brown, organizer, strategist, and co-founder of Black Voters Matter

“Dr. Sah’s
Defy is the answer we need for all those regret-filled moments when we stay silent and close our eyes.”—Dr. Mona Hanna, author of What the Eyes Don’t See

“We navigate the world by choosing what we will or will not accept but Dr. Sunita Sah is delivering, for the first time, the science behind those choices . . . From your best yes to your truest no,
Defy helps us handle these decisions with integrity, compassion, and candor.”—Annie Duke, bestselling author of Quit

“Firmly grounded in the latest science,
Defy will surely become a culture-shifting manifesto for all of us ‘moral mavericks’ who hope to use conscientious resistance to make the world a better place.”—Jonah Berger, bestselling author of Contagious

“Dr. Sah’s work on how we can learn to conscientiously defy is a must-read for any parent, woman, or professional.”
—Tina Payne Bryson, New York Times bestselling co-author of The Whole-Brain Child

Defy answers one of the most pressing questions raised by the pandemic, protests, and the presidential election: why do people behave in ways that ignore science, oppose equity, and undercut their own self-interest? . . . It’s an engaging explanation of why defiance is the exception and obedience is the rule in all of our lives while also providing concrete strategies to recognize and transform our responses.”—Kerry Ann Rockquemore, founder of the National Center for Faculty Development & Diversity

“Dr. Sah’s
Defy is an important, timely book written by an expert who has studied and lived the central questions in her book: when should you speak up, and how do you empower people at home, work, and play to speak up when staying silent is the easier option?”—Adam Alter, New York Times bestselling author of Irresistible

About the Author

Sunita Sah, MD, PhD, MBA is an award-winning professor and organizational psychologist who has spent over a decade conducting groundbreaking research on advisor-advisee relationships, trust, conflicts of interest, disclosure, and compliance. She teaches business and healthcare students at Cornell University and Cambridge University and served as a commissioner on the National Commission of Forensic Science. A trained physician, Dr. Sah practiced medicine in the United Kingdom before embarking on her academic career. Her research has been published in top academic journals in management, medicine, economics, and psychology as well was The New York Times, The New Yorker, Los Angeles Times, Harvard Business Review, and Scientific American. She lives with her husband and son in New York.

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B0D1QB4H8M
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ One World (January 14, 2025)
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ January 14, 2025
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 5.1 MB
  • Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 361 pages
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.8 4.8 out of 5 stars 42 ratings

About the author

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Dr. Sunita Sah
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Dr. Sunita Sah is an award-winning professor at Cornell University and an expert in organizational psychology. She leads groundbreaking research on influence, authority, compliance, and defiance. A trained physician, she practiced medicine in the United Kingdom and worked as a management consultant for the pharmaceutical industry. She currently teaches executives, leaders, and students in healthcare and business. Dr. Sah is a sought-after international speaker and consultant, advisor to government agencies, and former Commissioner of the National Commission on Forensic Science. Her multidisciplinary research and analyses have been widely published in leading academic journals and media entities including The New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Harvard Business Review, and Scientific American.

Customer reviews

4.8 out of 5 stars
42 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book insightful, informative, and meaningful. They describe it as an enjoyable and essential read that will change their perspective. Readers appreciate the well-written content and helpful Reader's Guide and Notes sections.

AI-generated from the text of customer reviews

14 customers mention "Thought provoking"14 positive0 negative

Customers find the book insightful, informative, and meaningful. They say it's a crucial guide that examines the decision-making process through engaging storytelling and real-world examples. The author, Dr. Sunita Sah, eloquently pieces together personal accounts, public news stories, and scientific research. The book is described as empowering, eye-opening, and life-changing.

"...her own personal experiences, Dr. Sah has created a definitive and crucial guide for anyone who wants to stand up for what they believe is right in..." Read more

"...the decision-making process through engaging storytelling and real-world examples that paint a vivid picture of how we think and are influenced by..." Read more

"...Her methods are incredibly useful. I recently encountered a proposal that required a reflexive yes, which made me uneasy...." Read more

"A helpful book and a gripping read! Prof. Sunita Sah engagingly blends excellent research with her and others' lived experience." Read more

9 customers mention "Readability"9 positive0 negative

Customers find the book an enjoyable and gripping read that changes their perspective. They describe it as a must-read this year and beyond.

"A helpful book and a gripping read! Prof. Sunita Sah engagingly blends excellent research with her and others' lived experience." Read more

"...A fascinating must read for all!" Read more

"...This book is beautifully written and brilliant. Thank you, Dr. Sah, for this incredible gift! 💡✨..." Read more

"Loved reading this book! As a mother of teenagers this book gave me a different prospective of how to view their behavior...." Read more

3 customers mention "Writing quality"3 positive0 negative

Customers find the book well-written and helpful. They appreciate the Reader's Guide and author conversation sections.

"...Reading Defy feels like diving into a well-written book on negotiations: we know we must negotiate effectively, yet achieving success is difficult..." Read more

"...Also in the "Reader's Guide" section, the conversation with the author is VERY helpful; and, certainly, the "Notes" are very helpful for anyone..." Read more

"Defy is a very well written, powerful and important book...." Read more

Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on January 14, 2025
    DEFY couldn't come at a better time. Based on compelling scientific research and real-world examples, Dr. Sunita Sah masterfully unpacks why we often stay silent or compliant when our inner voice is shouting at us to do otherwise.

    The book transforms defiance from a negative trait into an essential skill that we can develop and refine—providing practical tools to align our actions with our values. From dissecting the actions of well-known rebels to everyday instances of compliance and her own personal experiences, Dr. Sah has created a definitive and crucial guide for anyone who wants to stand up for what they believe is right in today's conflicted world.

    Too often we acquiesce to bad advice, inappropriate behavior, and unreasonable requests in our lives, so to help kick start an overdue rebellion, I am wholeheartedly recommending this book. It will certainly change how you think and feel about speaking up.
    7 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on January 14, 2025
    Through a series of powerful stories, Dr. Sunita Sah has created a thought provoking work that should be required reading for all.
    Defy is a masterclass on the workings of the human mind. It examines the decision-making process through engaging storytelling and real-world examples that paint a vivid picture of how we think and are influenced by people, environments and societal norms. Dr. Sah's great sense of storytelling engages from the beginning and weaves in examples across the spectrum from obedience to defiance. It makes the reader question, in a good way, their own values and actions and to consider how to stand up for what they believe is just.
    7 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on February 4, 2025
    How often do we say “yes” when we really mean “I’m not sure”—or even “no”? When interacting with others at work, in our families, or with professionals, we constantly navigate expectations, judgments, and pressures. We often feel compelled to comply with those, even when they conflict with our values or intentions.

    In Defy, Dr. Sunita Sah argues that our agreements should be acts of consent, not compliance. She does not see defiance as an offense to relationships but as an assertion of self-respect—the choice to live according to our values, “even when faced with pressure to do otherwise.”

    This reminds me of Albert Camus’ concept of lucid rebellion—a refusal to submit unthinkingly to imposed structures, not out of nihilism, but because of a commitment to engage with life fully and ethically. Defy presents a similar concept but does so in very practical terms. It offers a roadmap for managing our interactions with as much clarity, autonomy, and self-respect as possible. Dr. Sah draws from her expertise in behavioral science and medicine to translate defiance into concrete strategies that ensure when we say yes, we genuinely mean it.

    Her methods are incredibly useful. I recently encountered a proposal that required a reflexive yes, which made me uneasy. Inspired by Dr. Sah’s approaches, I paused and identified what was troubling me. There were key implications I didn’t fully grasp—I didn’t completely understand what I was about to commit to. As the book recommends, I expressed my concerns and suspended my consent. In response, my partner provided additional details, allowing me to move forward confidently and at peace.

    Reading Defy feels like diving into a well-written book on negotiations: we know we must negotiate effectively, yet achieving success is difficult without good advice, encouragement, and practical tips.

    This book contributes to a healthy, well-functioning culture—one where we don’t default to passive compliance or reckless defiance but instead engage with a spirit of constructive defiance.
    2 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on February 16, 2025
    A helpful book and a gripping read! Prof. Sunita Sah engagingly blends excellent research with her and others' lived experience.
    2 people found this helpful
    Report
  • Reviewed in the United States on January 15, 2025
    This book balances and integrates academic research from the interdisciplinary fields of behavioral science with important cases to help people learn how to not-comply and, instead, defy the situations that people regularly encounter (many are discussed in the book) where compliance can be (extremely) costly.

    The author's extra-ordinary backgrounds (plural) as a leading researcher, professor, and medical doctor (and parent and sometimes-medical-patient, among many other roles) also come through -- sensibly and helpfully -- in the book.

    The Appendix of the book is extremely succinct and helpful as a "how to" guide for navigating situations related to giving/not-giving too much of one's self to others' interests.

    Also in the "Reader's Guide" section, the conversation with the author is VERY helpful; and, certainly, the "Notes" are very helpful for anyone involved in learning more (e.g., for potential further-research).

    In fact, reading the book in reverse might align well with some people's approach to learning.

    I can see why this book has made many "Book of the Year" lists and I anticipate that it will (and should) be integrated into many college and university syllabi as well as well as other kinds of professional development programs.
    6 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on January 14, 2025
    In Defy, the author, Dr. Sunita Sah, eloquently pieces together from personal accounts, public news stories and research, including her own, to demonstrate our tendency to comply and how we can defy. The author allows for one's own introspection to consider how one might behave, what choice one might have made in various situations. Defy engages the reader to be an active participant in the story of the book and leaves one feeling more empowered. A fascinating must read for all!
    4 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on January 19, 2025
    Defy is a timely transformative book especially for anyone who has gone along, stayed quiet, or been stifled by expectations to avoid rocking the boat or saying no. Through research and real world stories, Dr. Sah makes the case to redefine defiance and disagreement in a new light. She provides a how-to guide to shift both thinking and actions with compassion and courage. I highly recommend.
    3 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

  • Hyun
    5.0 out of 5 stars I think I will make this a must read for my children
    Reviewed in Canada on January 28, 2025
    I wish I have read this book in my youth. The principles she teaches in this book can prevent big and small abuses we face in everyday lives, help us find our true value and live it.

    Also, she is so good at giving everyday examples we see in our own lives! This is not a typical psychology book that takes awhile for you to turn each page. It's a fun, relatable, and insightful read. I was able to connect very easily with what she was saying.
    Customer image
    Hyun
    5.0 out of 5 stars
    I think I will make this a must read for my children

    Reviewed in Canada on January 28, 2025
    I wish I have read this book in my youth. The principles she teaches in this book can prevent big and small abuses we face in everyday lives, help us find our true value and live it.

    Also, she is so good at giving everyday examples we see in our own lives! This is not a typical psychology book that takes awhile for you to turn each page. It's a fun, relatable, and insightful read. I was able to connect very easily with what she was saying.
    Images in this review
    Customer image

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